I wannas sexs uuuuu
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
