Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
