He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
