I think I am morally bankrupt
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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