Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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