You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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