Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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