I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
