I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Still dying that you shit outside
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
