im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
