he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
