Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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