He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Randomize
