is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Walk of Shame today included voting.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
