I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
