got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
