i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Randomize
