So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
