i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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