I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
