This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
