Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
