I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
