my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
