i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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