I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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