So drunk, too bad you don't want this
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
