thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
