New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
