If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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