soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize