covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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