honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
