Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
