at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
