Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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