So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize