Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
