Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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