In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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