Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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