And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
