I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
