Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
