My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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