Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
