so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize