guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
