I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
