physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we made out on top of his cat.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
