i don't like sucking hair
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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