Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
