6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
