doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
