Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize