Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
