if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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