I'm going to jail i love you
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
