Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
